The AvaBella Story

Indie Artist Honesty: Are You Really 'Bout This Life?

Monday, July 18, 2016Ava Bella

Here goes nothin'...



You guys, I have to be totally transparent with you all. I am sure you guessed from the title what this post is going to be about. For at least 11 years I have battled and struggled daily with thoughts of quitting music or more recently closing my business, and going back to work. I have had shouting matches with family members and hours upon hours of conversations with close friends on what exactly I am doing with my life. I've cried, I've screamed, I've given lists of reasons why I haven't stopped. It has even come down to physical fights at times (crazy; right?). I know that my family and friends love me and care for me deeply and just want me to be okay. A lot of them feel like I have checked out or my time has passed or both. To be honest, at times, I have felt like maybe I am crazy for trying to continue on. I have questioned whether or not I am good enough - even when everything points to that I am. I have had so many wins as an indie artists. I have placements in film, I've toured, I've traveled, and yes, I even took the leap and moved to Los Angeles for a while and played some of the best venues - all with no record deal. Just the same I have some losses. Both big and small. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you?

Like I said before, I think it's time to be honest and let you all know what is going on - the real. I want to tell you how this all got started so those of you who are going through the same thing can know you are not alone and those of you are thinking this ish is easy know that is so far from the truth.

I started this journey in 2011 and the road has been filled with highs, lows, potholes, rain, sunshine, laughter, and buckets of tears. Like a lot of artists, my personal life is what makes me such a great writer, but it also is the very thing that has pushed me to the edge so many days. I've tried to just keep it light and give you all insight, professional opinion, artist opportunities people send me to share, and wisdom. While I will still provide you with all of those things, I want you all to understand me. I also want you all to understand this business. I think that the best thing that I can give to you is the truth. I think that the truths I've learned will not only help you, but they will heal some of the broken things in me that I need to release. I feel like I can't fully move forward until I do. I also feel like I'm doing a disservice to you.

So if you are ready, I want you to leave me a comment below this post to let me know.

-AvaB

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