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Bad Habits | #NaBloPomo

Monday, January 05, 2015Ava Bella

Of course because I am an artist and a singer when I think of bad habits this is what comes to mind... 



Then a flood of thoughts comes to mind. What are my worst habits? I have almost too many to count. Sorry to those of you reading this wondering why is she using this blog as her journal now? Where the heck is the music? Where the heck is my feature? That's just it good people. I have bad habits when it comes to just about everything - relationships (family, friends, men, etc.). You name it, my health, my eating, my children, my ex, my present, my past. If I had to narrow it down to one thing, I can't. So here is my almost too honest list of bad habits...

Coffee


Dude... for one, I'm in Starbucks right now creating this post...lol. It's my second home quite honestly. On a daily basis due to this bad habit, I have to force myself to digest more than coffee. I rarely eat a meal and I often times will trade the basics to get my gotta-have-it-grande-Mocha from Starbucks. My friends still call me a "coffee snob" because I am a card carrying, app using, Gold Card Member (this means I'm here too much). Today, due to this post, I decided to scale back and have an Indonesian blend, the new Gold Coast Blend (clearly a robust Sumatra influence)...nothin' too snazzy tho, just coffee. I gotta get off this stuff. Shout out to Starbucks!!



Relationships


I cringe when I read this word...or say it...or anyone asks me about my own. Aside from that poor health choice of drinking coffee and my relationship with myself, I often engage in unhealthy relationships with people. That can be with the opposite or same sex. You know, like, friendships. What is a friend? I really couldn't tell you hunny! I have been trying to figure that out since my best friend was killed about 16 years ago, and since her death, I really shy away from close friendships with women. I like my bubble. If I am completely honest, I have to admit, it's probably because I am deathly afraid of loosing. I have been to an ungodly amount of funerals since I was 19 years old. So many that I have refused to attend them now. Between murders, and people dying mysteriously in their sleep, I've lost too many friends to count. Geesh this is shaping up to be a depressing post! Ok...as for relationships with the opposite sex...I'm divorced. What does that tell you? No, it wasn't my fault. No, I'm not crazy (ok, maybe a little...browse around this blog or listen to the album for the story of me and my ex's demise). No seriously, I am in a relationship now and have been for quite a while after healing, but at the risk of making a mockery of our love for one another and how special it is... I'm happy (for the first time ever...that is all). I don't need to say anything else about him or us.

Eating


OMG... I eat like once a day...if I haven't drunk coffee, that is. This is so sad. I'm laughing as I'm typing each word of this post. I need to get back to blogging about other folks cuz I hate talking about myself! Keep those music and vid submissions coming cuz this ish is for the birds!! Ok. I eat tons of chocolate, carbs, if I eat fruit its always even covered in chocolate. If I eat a salad its a Caesar and normally has 2 additional ramekins on the side of  the dressing. I love salty BBQ, garlic mash potatoes, and well...all the things I shouldn't....I digress. I eat hella bad.

My Blog


If you all could take a peak at my posts screen, you would see a handful of what could have been the articles/posts to catapult this website into the stratosphere! I have started and stopped so many great entries which is why I'm flexing my writing muscles daily with post like these... I'll do better this year(and no, that is not a New Year's Resolution). I am definitely getting better at completing EVERYTHING I have to do on a daily basis...

My Children


Last, but certainly not least! I am making a total shift in my tour schedule, event coverage where I have to travel, and my life as an artist and MUSICpreneur to be sure that they ALWAYS come first. In previous years, I have been away from KCMO so much that I have missed at least a basketball game, I've missed Taekwondo  practices, too many to count, and well about 2 years worth of taking and picking them up from school. While I am always home for their parent teacher conferences and most, but not all school shows, I vow that I will be disconnecting and present for them. I wan to see all the successes that will happen in their lives. This is super hard at times being a divorced, single parent, but I have to. It's the job I was gifted with before the mayhem of this crazy life started that I chose. So dead everything else! Kendall and Myles are my blessings and I must treat them as such.

Well folks, that is all I have for today on my bad habits. In a world where so much is expected of everyone on a daily basis...heck minute minute, I have a few bad habits that I either use a crutch to stay sane or simply just to function. ain't that what we all tryin' to do? L-O-L. I digress. What are some of yours that you care to share? Sound off in the comments...

Thanks for reading,

-AB
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